Another year stronger

I can now say that I am 24 years old, as of Sunday.

For the first time in a while, I feel older. I feel that I have fully began to come into my own. I use 'began' because I feel that I can still learn. Life is a journey, not a destination. I don't feel as though I've come close to learning a life's worth of lessons yet.

No longer do I seek out constant partying, as I did a few years ago. I am not even confident I can even come close to calling myself that at any point. However, I defintely sought that out more.

I've become more of a homebody.

I feel as though I let more things role off my back. That doesn't mean that I don't get bothered by some things. However, I am more apt to ask myself, "Can I change it?" before growing too upset. Some things, (like my current driving situation, although for just a little bit longer) I cannot change. Finding peace in the difference is what matters.

In that spirit, I also want to apologize to anyone that was kind enough to listen to my complaints about my driving situation. I recently saw how annnoying (for lack of better word) that can be, and I am grateful and heartfully sorry. I don't think I was able to just accept it.

I've learned things can always be worse. That as bad as I want to think I have it, I can't let myself feel badly. My struggles (not to deny the strength they've given me) can be called nothing in comparison to what others have had to deal with. It's much easier to just be content as I am, instead of the appearance of not being happy with what I've got.

I've learned to be comfortable in my own skin. For a very long time, I was incredibly self-conscious. I constantly worried about others thoughts. I wanted to make sure I measured up...to their standards. I've learned to create my own standards. And, if I do say so myself, they're not too shabby. I've got to put my best foot forward everyday, thank God for everything, and love every moment of life. Everything else is just icing on the cake.

I think moving to Champaign helped this a lot. I had a lot of pre-conceived notions about what people in Charleston thought about me (whether true or not). Upon moving, I just became a butterfly again. I don't know how to explain it, but I felt whole again. My insecurities seemed to disappear one by one. I can truly proclaim that I am completely and utterly happy with who I am at this moment. I suppose without the battle of various insecurity, I wouldn't know what that feels like.

I suppose I cannot say all these things without mentioning the love for one another. I've met everything I could ever ask for in a guy. And no, this time no strings attached or false notions. He's 100 percent the real deal. He's brought out the nurturing side in me that was laying dormat without him. He also took away my last insecurity--that I wasn't quite good enough somehow for guys. Or that they were only after one thing. I can't describe how grateful I am for him. He's become my best friend. I don't know what I would do without him.

To many more years to come, life is amazing. I believe I'm just getting started.