Monday, April 12, 2010

The times, they are a changin'

With a fews things going on in my life, I could be in the position to go through a lot of change in the next few months.

Admittedly, its both exciting and scary.

In 52 days, I will get my driver's license and car back. This is VERY exciting to me. It has been over two years since I've driven. I know, crazy, right? Why is that, you ask? I made some very stupid mistakes and decisions that I've now grown past. Nonetheless, it has made me that much stronger.

But, back to the notion of change.

As excited as I am for the change, I am a tiny bit scared for the other aspects that come along with it. For one, I have a test to pass to get it back. I'm a fairly decent test taker, but am sure that it covers some things that I haven't been paying too much attention to as of late. I am also nervous about the expense. I know that my driving history is going to make insurance rather expensive. It is also going to add in the expense of gas. I'm sure I'll adjust to the change of expense quickly, though.

I recently started a new job. I am now a pharmacy technician at the Urbana Walmart. I was once a photo technician. I spent a little over four years in that job. As much as I rant and raved about the position, it had become an odd sense of home to me.

I have only worked one day in the new job thus far. So far, I've got nothing to complain about. Still, this change brings about other change. I had not planned to be at Walmart much after college. I had expected to move on from the company. I took the job for a variety of reasons. I thought that management would be better and so would the wages. I also figured that I would feel more valued. Now I wonder what this could mean for the long term.

Another possibility of change looms. I could officially move in with my boyfriend in the summer. It's odd that the notion scares me a little bit, seeing as we have been practically doing just that for a little bit now. I guess just making it official is weird. If, for some unknowable reason, something went sour, I currently have a place to run to. I will lose that soon. Perhaps that's why I'm scared. I don't have any reason to think that anything will go badly. A part of me just still exists and is healing from poor past relationships. A small part of me, for some reason, wants to protect myself.

I realize that I have no need to do that right now. He has given me no reason at all. Over the past couple of months my trust in him has grown by leaps and bounds.

So, what is the point of this whole blog?

For some reason, it seems a lot of people are afraid of change. At least to some degree. I'm not sure exactly why that is. After realizing how much change I was going to encounter (all of it being positive), I was taken back by the small amount of fear that entered me.

Is there something about change that drives such a reaction? Are some people better at reacting to it than others?

If I were to take Darwinism into account, change should be of little issue. Humans, as some of the fittest to survive, should be very adaptable to change. Perhaps we are. I suppose I'm not exactly fighting it. I'm definitely making the very best of the awesomeness coming my way.

I suppose a problem would occur were I fighting the change.

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